


there existed an addiction to blood

by TheBajaBlast



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Badass Katara (Avatar), Bloodbending (Avatar), Dark Katara (Avatar), Implied Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Katara & Azula, Katara & Toph, Katara & Zuko - Freeform, Katara (Avatar)-centric, Katara Bloodbends, POV Katara (Avatar)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25142824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBajaBlast/pseuds/TheBajaBlast
Summary: The feeling of blood...was the most addicting thing Katara had ever felt. The truth was, she wanted to bloodbend. Did that make her a monster?A reflection of Katara's relationship with blood, healing, and bloodbending.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	there existed an addiction to blood

**Author's Note:**

> Content Warning:  
> Mentions of blood, mentions of throwing up (though nothing graphic).

"Sokka, look!"

She'd bent the water into nearly a perfect sphere. A small fish swam frantically inside it. She smiled.

Sometimes, Katara wondered if she was ever going to master this whole waterbending thing. It felt like the water actively resisted her sometimes -- like she was swimming up-stream, so to speak. On a good day, she could maybe bend a couple of waves back and forth. It was nothing exciting, and more importantly, nothing that could be used against the Fire Nation.

However, this was different. This _felt_ different. The water had a momentum to it, she could feel it pulling back and forth. Katara carefully moved her arms, moving her catch in the air around her. It was almost as if the flow of the water guided her, and she was desperately trying to chase it. She _knew_ this feeling. Though she had only felt it once or twice before, it felt familiar and right. Like she was actually connecting with her element.

_thump-thump  
thump-thump  
thump-thump_

She felt something else. Within the water, she felt a small and steady pulse. There was a distinct rhythm to it. Almost like a heartbeat...but slower. She wondered if this knew feeling meant she was doing something right.

"Mmm...I can already hear it cookin'," Sokka, oblivious as ever, paid no attention to her. He was too caught up in a hunt of his own.

"But Sokka, I caught one!"

The flow of the water was getting harder to move with, and that small pulse she felt became faster. More frantic. She moved the water around the boat, eventually ending up over Sokka's head...

Sokka raised his spear into the air, popping her bubble. The flow that she'd been chasing immediately disappeared and the water poured fell, drenching Sokka in the process. She watched as the fish she caught fell into the ocean...the small pulse she had felt lingered a few seconds longer, before it too disappeared.

She wondered what that pulsing feeling was, or if it was something she was supposed to be feeling. Was it a fluke, or had she finally caught on to something? If only there was another waterbender in the tribe she could ask - being the only bender could be so lonely. It's not like she could tell any of this to Sokka, either. Her brother treated her abilities as more of a hindrance than anything -- yeah, there's no way he'd understand.

She knew one thing for certain. Whatever that feeling had been, _she liked it._

* * *

"Well, don't stop now, keep 'em coming!"

She couldn't believe it. Aang, the prodigy that he is, managed to master every waterbender trick she knew in _less than an hour._ She wanted to scream at him, he had no right to be this good this quickly. She had been striving for years to learn what she knew, and here Aang was, already surpassing everything she knew.

Katara took a deep breath, knowing her jealousy was a bit unreasonable. Aang was the Avatar, after all - and he was just trying to learn.

She smiled at him.

"Well, I kinda know this one other move...but it's pretty hard," Katara mused, hoping to herself that Aang wouldn't immediately master this one, "I haven't even totally figured it out yet."

Aang's stormy eyes were wide and eager. She braced herself. She wasn't even sure if she'd even be able to successfully demonstrate the move, but she had to at least try.

"The idea is to create a big, powerful wave," she concentrated on the water, lifting her hands into the air. She started to feel it, the familiar feeling of the liquid pushing and pulling. Off to a good start.

She concentrated harder, trying to feel the pulse that she'd felt so long ago. She hadn't felt the pulsing feeling while bending since that day, and she'd been chasing it ever since. She thought the problem was that maybe she wasn't connecting to the water as much as she should be. Maybe the push and pull of the water was merely a distraction that she had to overcome. She thought that maybe once she pushed past it and felt that pulse, she'd be set. 

The water started to rise, a lot of it too, but there was still no pulse. She took a deep breath and focused more, searching for that feeling….

The water caved in on her. Nothing. She wanted to swear, but she stopped herself. Not in front of the monk. 

"So, like this?" Aang copied her movements, and almost immediately, a giant wave formed. It took everything she had not to scream in frustration. If Aang knew she was doubting herself, it might make him self conscious.

Maybe it would be a good time for a break, she thought, especially since it looked like Aang had washed away their supplies his wave.

Katara wondered if she would ever feel that pulsing feeling again.

* * *

Even though her contact with the fire had been brief, her hands burned like nothing she'd ever felt. Tears streamed down her face, as she stared at the burn-marks on her hand. Each slight movement made the pain worse -- she was shaking.

What if the scars were permanent? What if the pain never went away? What if she'd never be able to waterbend again?

She crouched by the river, desperate for any sort of relief. Slowly, she put her hands in the water. She winced -- had she made things worse?

Then, she suddenly sensed a swirling sensation around the burns on her hands. However, there was something else. Her hands started to _glow_.

That's when she felt it.

_thump-thump  
thump-thump_

This pulse was different from the one she'd felt months earlier. It was stronger, and faster...but it was the same sensation, there was no denying it.

A quiet gasp escaped her lips, and she slowly lifted her hands out of the water. They still glowed, and she could still feel the pulsing. However, as the water dripped off her hands, the glowing and pulsing stopped. But when the glow subsided, her burn-wounds were gone. Her hands were pristine and perfect, like nothing had ever happened.

She couldn't believe it. Just when she'd started to give up on ever feeling that pulse again, here it was. Once more, she'd somehow been healed.

"You have healing abilities."

The voice came from behind her - it was Jeong-Jeong, Aang's firebending master. She jumped, startled by his sudden presence. The old man joined her by the riverside.

"The great benders of the Water Tribe sometimes have this ability," he mused. Katara noticed there was a certain softness to him - it was weird, he was normally so guarded, "I've always wished I was blessed like you, free from this burning curse."

Katara looked to her hands, still trembling ever so slightly. Jeong-Jeong was one of the most powerful benders she'd ever met, while she still questioned if she'd ever be a master. The idea that he was envious of her was...strange.  
  
"But you're a great master. You have powers I'll never know."

He sighed, "Water brings healing and life, but fire brings only destruction and pain. It forces those of us burdened with its care to walk a razor's edge between humanity and savagery."

There was a heavy pause as Katara took in his sobering words. Jeong-Jeong sighed, the world seemed to lay heavy on his shoulders. He looked to Katara before he spoke.

"Eventually, we're torn apart."

* * *

They barely escaped in one peace, the run-in with Zhao had been a little to close for comfort. If it wasn't for Jeong-Jeong...it was best not to think about what would have happened.

However, Katara was distracted by her newfound abilities. She had felt that pulsing again, but more importantly, she was a healer! Maybe that pulsing was something specific to healing...though that didn't explain why she had felt it -- that day back at the South Pole. There was still so much to figure out.

Then she saw it - a tear on Aang's robe, but more notably than that...

"Aang, you're burned!" Katara exclaimed, her tone was a little more excited than she'd meant it to be. Sokka noticed, and Katara saw how he raised his brow.

Aang looked to his arm, and his eyes widened. He had been so caught up in the heat of battle, that he didn't notice. Katara smiled at him -- what a great way to show off her new abilities.

"Here, let me help you," she spoke, bringing forth the water from her container. She surrounded her hand with it, and immediately felt the steady pulsing sensation. 

_thump-thump  
thump-thump_

Her smile grew. _Perfect._ As careful as she could, she brought the water to Aang's burn. She closed her eyes...sensing a concentrated, swirling energy. It flickered around Aang's burns before she was immediately met with another sensation. Another pulse.

_thump-thump  
thump-thump_

Her breath hitched...this was different. The second pulse was stronger, more frantic. Katara took another deep breath, concentrating more on the second pulse. It was weird, the source of the second pulse almost seemed to be coming from...Aang himself.

_thump-thump  
thump-thump_

_thump-thump  
thump-thump_

She pulled her hand away, leaving the water surrounding Aang's arm. The first pulse she felt disappeared, replaced by the feeling of the water's ebb and flow. However, the second pulse remained. It was strong, stronger than she'd ever sensed it. It was like nothing she ever felt -- truly, it was incredible.

She watched as Aang's burn faded into nothing, and brought back her water. The pulse fading to nothing. Aang was healed.

The Avatar's face lit up, and he smiled. 

"Wow, that's good water!" Aang exclaimed. His eyes dazzled, and Katara couldn't hold back her grin.

It was the most confident she'd ever felt as a waterbender.

* * *

Her first healing class was almost over. While her mind was still overcome with righteous fury ( _what she would give to punch Master Pakku in his smug, misogynistic face_ ) she was actually enjoying the class. While it was the "women's" water-bending class, and the North Pole treated it as "lesser" than the fighting -- everything she'd learned had been super informative and useful. 

The teacher had spent her time lecturing the girls about the human body, and how it functioned. Specifically, they learned about blood. It was amazing, and more fascinating than Katara ever realized. She learned about the circulatory system, and how blood delivered oxygen and nutrients to the rest of the body. She always knew one needed blood to live, and that losing too much blood was dangerous, but now she knew why that was.

The lessons didn't end there, either. They talked about how blood was composed of different "cells". The red blood cells were in charge of transferring oxygen, white blood cells fought infections within the body, and platelets helped to form clots in the blood when someone was bleeding.

To think that this was considered a "basics" class - she was the oldest student by about four years. Still, she was fascinated. Not from a healing perspective, although that was definitely helpful. No, she was interested purely because the topic was interesting.

"We have about five minutes before class ends, are there any questions?"

Katara's hand shot up - she had so many questions, but there was one that stood out at the forefront of her mind.

That exhilarating pulsing she sometimes felt -- the way it felt like a heartbeat, was it healing related? 

"I've healed a few times before," she began her question, "Every time I heal someone, I feel this...pulsing, and I was wondering...what is that?"

Judging from her teacher's reaction, she had not asked a simple question. Her teacher's eyes widened in confusion and concern.

"Pulsing?" she asked, "You're not supposed to feel a pulsing...at least, I never have."

Some of the other girls giggled, and Katara sank into her coat. She'd found out that her teacher was the best medic in the North Pole. 

If she didn't know what that pulsing had been, who did?

* * *

Jet's wound was deep. Too deep. Katara knew if she didn't tend to it immediately…

She took a deep breath, bringing the water to his chest a quickly as she could. The liquid made contact with his skin -- glowing around his wound. Immediately, she could felt the energy of the area, a swirling pool of tension and chaos. She could sense the injury, and the disruption it caused within Jet's body.

What was more concerning, though, was that this was the first time she didn't feel that familiar pulsing, the one she always felt while healing. She closed her eyes and concentrating harder.

_thump-thump  
thump-thump_

There it was, the pulsing. Once again, this one was different. It was slower, much slower, and much fainter too. It felt weaker with each pump, and while she didn't know what it meant - she had a bad feeling.

"This isn't good," she didn't mean to say the sentence out loud. In her healing classes, she had been taught to never say anything that may concern a patient.

The pulse dimmed, and it took everything Katara had to retain her composure.

* * *

Aang was dead - the lightning had killed him.

When Katara first placed her water on his wound, she sensed nothing but a static energy. It was fragile and unmoving -- fleeting with every moment

Once again, she couldn't feel that pulsing -- just like with Jet. She searched for it, but was quickly realizing it wouldn't be there. 

She clutched her fists - no, she couldn't give up yet. There was one more thing she could try.

She pulled the water Master Pakku had given her from the north pole, the one with special properties. It was a long shot, but…

She circled the water around her hands and brought it to Aang's injury. She prayed silently to herself, to any spirit that would listen. Please, let this work.

First, there was no change, and she felt her stomach drop. But then...

_thump-thump_

There it was, that pulse. It felt so fragile, breakable even. A faint, uneven rhythm in the palm of her hands. Still, it gave her hope. As she concentrated, that unmoving energy in Aang's body started to swirl.

Then just like that, the water disappeared. But even though the water was gone, she could still feel the steady pulse. Her eyes widened, and she hugged him close to her body. His tattoos glowed, and he groaned.  
  
 _thump-thump_  
 _thump-thump_

* * *

The group had reunited with their dad - and had made the bold decision that they would continue on with their invasion plan. Even without the Avatar, their ragtag little team had gotten pretty good at some good ol' fashion gorilla warfare. Sozen's Comet was upon them; it was now or never.

They had stolen a warship and infiltrated the Fire Nation, and now they were making their way to the capital. However, Katara had spent most of her days by Aang's side, tending to his injury. As much as she wanted to be out fighting with everyone else, she was literally Aang's only hope of survival.

It was a lot of pressure.

It'd been nearly five weeks, and he still had not regained consciousness. While no one spoke it out loud, everyone was worried that he never would. Sometimes, when the others thought she was out of earshot, she heard Sokka and Toph talk about it being a lost cause. The two were pessimists to the end.

_thump-thump  
thump-thump_

This was the longest she'd ever been in tune with that pulsing sensation, and she had made a realization. The more she tuned into it, the more she realized the pulsing sensation had a sense to it. It was tall, with lots and lots of branches. Almost felt tree-like.

Then, she remembered the map of the circulatory system she'd seen in her healing class, and she knew what the shape was. Suddenly, she knew what the pulsing was.

Blood.

_thump-thump  
thump-thump_

She had been thinking about her question, to her healing teacher back at the north pole, and her response. If a healing master couldn't feel the pulse, how was she able to? And, more importantly, why was she able to?

It's not like blood was a bendable liquid or anything. Blood contained water, yes, but that didn't mean she could bend it.

...Could she?

She shook the thought from her head. No, it was a ridiculous thought. Of course she couldn't bend blood.

_thump-thump  
thump-thump_

* * *

The moon was full, and shined unopposed over the ocean. Katara stood on the edge of the boat, feeling the salty breeze blow over her skin. She loved the way she felt during the full moon. _Strong. Complete._

Sokka and Toph were behind her, going to town on a bag of fire-flakes. The moment was so close to being perfect, it was only missing one person…

"By the way, Toph, you never told us how you were able to bend _freaking metal?"_ It was Sokka. He playfully punched the blind earthbender in the shoulder and was met with Toph's victorious laugher.

"Cool, right?" she bragged, stretching her arms, "Metal is just super refined earth. I just...really focused on finding it. And once I felt the earth in the metal, _BAM!_ Metalbending!"

Toph's words triggered a thought from Katara. Up until weeks ago, Metalbending was thought to have been impossible. Toph had been able to do it because she felt the earth in the metal.

If Katara could feel the water within blood, did that mean...?

She clenched her hands onto the boat's railing, the thought hitting her like a ton of bricks. Could she bend blood? Was something like that even possible? She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. This was a dangerous line of thought -- the very concept of it was immoral. Sickening. Monsterous.

_And yet…_

She turned her head to face Toph and Sokka -- the two were too caught up in the conversation to notice her. She wondered...if she could feel Aang's blood without healing him, could she feel theirs?

No, she shouldn't do this. She knew she shouldn't do this. It was wrong.

But the moonlight shined down on her, infusing her with it's great power. It dared her to prove her strength...prove what she knew was true. Her hands twitched, and her grasp on the railings tightened. She closed her eyes, trying to clear her head...but all she could feel was the moon.

A smile crossed her lips. She took a deep breath, trying to concentrate.

_thump-thump_

_thump-thump_

_thump-thump_

_thump-thump_

She felt two different, unique pulses, coming from where Toph and Sokka stood. She felt as their blood moved steadily throughout their bodies.

In a way, the blood was like a river, traveling down a defined path, and bringing life to all that it touched. Water, in a way, was like the blood of the earth. It all seemed so clear to her.

In that moment, Katara knew she could bend blood.

Her eyes opened in horror, and she suddenly felt nauseous. What on earth was doing? She turned to Toph and Sokka, the two were oblivious to what she had just done. What she had just _felt._ What would they say to her? What would they think of her?

"Katara...you okay?"

It had been Toph who asked the question. Katara realized that the earth bender now stood by her side -- how long had Toph been there? The blind earthbender's looked at her with concern. It was then that Katara noticed that her arms had been shaking.

"Yeah, you look a little pail," It was Sokka. He came up from behind her and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. She jerked at its touch. Her mouth felt dry. Her stomach was doing backflips.

"I'm…" the words became stuck in her mouth, as she became overcome with guilt and dread. Her breathing quickened -- and suddenly, she felt hot. She was sweating.

With hardly any warning, she clutched onto her stomach and threw up over the railings. 

The idea that she could bend blood made her sick. But the thing that was even worse...is that she wanted to.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you've enjoyed the start of this two-shot! I had the idea while writing the next chapter for one of my other stories, and since it wouldn't work for that, so I decided to write it separately and get it out of my system. Thank you for reading!


End file.
